Hawaii day three: I give a darn about an oxford comma.

(If you don’t want to read this, I don’t blame you. Be sure to read the last paragraph and then ask Erik or Jim to re-tell the story because my writing has gone downhill)

This day was filled with very little, but somehow took us the whole day and left us feeling tired. I don’t even know how the following things took 12 hours. Wake up, throw a frisbee, return snorkel equipment, obtain and consume breakfast, return to campsite and checkout, drive one hour north and walk to a real nice beach, play in the ocean, play on the slackline, play on the beach, drive to the timeshare condo, obtain and consume dinner, and fall asleep.

That’s why I give a darn about an oxford comma. They help me write pseudo run-on sentences.

But seriously we stretched it out. And my observations are thus:

First, the campsite on the second morning had a very distinct “hippie” vibe. I gleaned this from the yoga and marijuana cigarettes happening all over the place.

Second, the breakfast place had outstanding bagels, which struck me as odd. But they had non-outstanding reading material next to several tables. My personal favourite is a book describing how the structure of freezing water crystals changes with the amount of positive thoughts/words directed at the water. By this, I mean that if you say nice things to water (example: you’re nice), then the subsequent frozen crystals will be way more symmetrical and pretty. Feel free to draw your own conclusion from my severely biased and subjective synopsis.

Third, America has way more types of cereal than we do.

Fourth, David Woods cannot cut pineapple in any sort of reasonable fashion. I was starting to make dinner (chicken kabobs). He offered to help, and I put him to work cutting a pineapple in a way that is conducive to grilling. This might not make any sense (it didn’t to me), but he took the pineapple and made filets like he was cutting a fish. This wasn’t the worst thing. It was unorthodox but could be dealt with. But no one noticed how he had cut it until he was leaning over the sink gnawing on half of the pineapple, which he claimed was okay because the core is inedible. Half the pineapple was still attached to the core, and he was taking large bites off. Erik, Jim and myself seemed to notice at the same time and all had our arms outstretched with palms up in a way that communicated this: WHAT THE F— ARE YOU DOING?????!!!!

He looked back at us like we were idiots and he was doing nothing wrong.

The utter dismay that he would act so out of character and eat half the pineapple we were going to share soon melted away. It got really funny. This grown adult male didn’t know how to cut a pineapple, the poor guy.

So the next day I bought him a practice pineapple.

Anyways, this is what dinner looked like most nights: no shirts and POG (pineapple orange guava juice or something like that)


Sexy man dinner. Every night.

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So here is the thing….

The thing about this blog is that I’ve written a bunch of stuff, but haven’t put it on the internet yet.

Just relax for once.

It’ll come.


Good talk.

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Hawaii the first: Sand is everywhere.

(I wrote this on Sunday, but am posting it now. Deal with it however you so choose.)

So I’ve been away from any form of internet for a few days and had no battery left in my computer. I sit here writing at 6:30 am local time not wearing a shirt and drinking Wolfang Puck’s “personal recipe” brand coffee. We are at a timeshare somewhere on the west side of the big island. My attempts to summarize the first three days are as follows. No pictures will be added because I am smart and don’t have any way of getting photos off my camera.

Day 1:

Wake up and 4. Go to the airport. Fly to Seattle. Eat breakfast at Seattle. Fly to Kona.

The flight to Kona had two interesting things. First, David spilled a little bit or orange juice on some random sitting next to him, who was then not impressed and pointed at the juice in a menacing way. He then continued to be a bit of a tool to the flight attendants. We called him juicy-pants behind his back.

I was not sitting near anyone else, and had a nice conversation with an older couple from Spokane who come to Kona fairly often. Barry (the older guy), then gave me lots of “helpful” advice about the big island. And by that, I mean that his advice was not helpful at all. It was a hand-drawn map of major locations on the island that anyone who has ever planned a trip here for any reason would probably know beforehand. But Barry was super nice. So I smiled and pretended not to know where the city of Kona is, where the airport is, where the only volcano is, and where the only highway is.

So we proceed to land, put on shorts, and then pick up our rental car from Alamo (which had delightful customer service). We grabbed the coolest, sportiest looking Chevy Malibu on the lot and drove to get some food in Kona. We end up at the Kona Brewing Company, and then ate delicious food and drank delicious beer.

Then we went to what I perceive as the Mecca of cheap consumer goods that isn’t also a Walmart: Target. Target was large and confusing. I tried on a onesie, took out money, got coffee from Starbucks. We also bought a football and frisbee and sandals. Then I got overwhelmed and left.

Next, we went on a journey to find the place we were staying that night, which was a campsite somewhere on the coast that I had reserved online but failed to print directions to get there (I emailed them to myself, but had no internet). We stopped, got directions, and purchased the following important items: Cigars, sunscreen, a map, Jack Daniels, a lighter, and a flashlight. All these items were purchased in the same place! America is growing on me.

So we got there at 6:30 or so after driving a super windy/sketchy road in the dark. A large Hawaiian guy checked us in, gave us our rental tent, and then chatted to us for a while about snow, the airforce, and seeing UFO’s in Alaska.

So we hop on the struggle bus and take 30 minutes to set up our tent in the dark. Then we sat on the beach, smoked cigars and toasted to the trip with a mickey of Jack Daniels. It also happened to work out that there was a meteor shower that night. So we watched some meteors fall. It was super romantic, even for 4 guys.

Then we got tired and slept. It was 9:30. We had been awake for 20 hours or so and slept maybe two hours the night before. Jim hadn’t slept since two nights previous because he was writing a paper all night before we left Calgary (which, because he is a machine, received an A).

This ends the account of the first day. So it goes.

Day 2:

Wake up. Leave the campsite. Drive back up the windy road, which is way more fun in the daylight, especially in the “sporty” Chevy Malibu. We got breakfast at this roadside cafe and my brain exploded upon drinking Kona coffee, which is ridiculously tasty. I also got some free spam because I had never tried it before. It was not great. The texture was similar to what I imagine lint feels like in ones mouth. It was this odd amorphous blob that disintegrated in my mouth.

We went and rented some snorkelling gear and eventually made our way to a snorkelling area near a tourist attraction called the Place of Refuge. As a quick aside, this is a place where you would go to get your slate wiped clean if you were to be put to death by clubbing, fire, or strangulation. It was a bunch of rocks. I peed into the raging ocean.

So then we left there and drove to buy some groceries and food for the night. Somehow we all ended up getting straw hats along with the hot dogs and Bruddha Island Lager, which I do not recommend.

We get back to the campsite and cook food. We listen to a conversation near us about new age spirituality, meat production best practices, preventative health care. I can safely assume they swung quite far to the liberal side of the political and social scales.

Then we sat on the beach, again. We toasted and drank Jack Daniels, again. Then we went to bed. David also stubbed his toe in such a way that half of it was gone.

So ends the second day.

I have written about days three and four, but I want to spread out the content so that people won’t be intimidated by the amount of boring and poorly written text.

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I’m back on the internet. Prepare to be underwhelmed.

So. Here is the deal. I stopped writing this thing because my worldly travels ceased, only to be replaced by rural Alberta travels. Until now.

I’m sitting in at the Seahawks 12 Club in the Seattle airport waiting for a flight. I’m here with David Woods, Jim Billington, and Erik Johnson. We are going to Hawaii. I’m international again, and I told people I would write about this trip. As was the case in most of my other blog posts, I will continue to write for mainly selfish reasons. I like to keep track of my travels in writing, and figured that you, the people, could be recipients of my benevolence.

So, expect more updates that are questionable in both quality and grammar. 

Here we go.

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London Episode I: Han Shot First

I completely forgot that I wrote this. I probably meant to post it shortly after we got back from London, but I got really busy being unemployed and all. You know how it is. Anyways, from the depths of my hard drive, London Episode I: Han Shot First. Enjoy. Or not. It’s long, poorly edited, and not very interesting. Deal with it.

Out of the little bit of traveling I’ve done this past year, I’ve learned a few things. One of those things is that I hate being a tourist. Hate might be a little strong, but I really don’t enjoy being the guy that goes around to the toursity places and takes stereotypical tourist pictures and eats at places only in the Lonely Planet travel guides. I fully realize that I can be rather cynical, but being a tourist sucks. Which is probably why I liked being in Cambodia for a while. I didn’t feel like a tourist. I had this false sense of legitimacy, which honestly makes me a bit of a tool.

But a conversation at church a week ago led to an impulsive trip to London. This happened in the span of an hour. Karly Peters informed Erik Johnson and myself about cheap flights to London. We all drove to the mall and bought tickets. Boom.

Ergo, I was a tourist for seven days in London.

So, in typical Jeff Seaman fashion, I’m selfishly writing about it so I can remember the fun things we did. But I’ll graciously put in on the internet for your reading/skimming pleasure.

So. Lets go.

Wednesday February 16, 2011

Our flight left at 3 PM, so we went to the airport, did airport things, got on the plane, and then didn’t take off. The pilot said the following three things, and you need to say it in an English accent. It’s funnier that way.

“Hi there. We’re almost ready to take off, but just going to fire up the engines to make sure everything is working just fine”

5 minutes later

“Hello, me again. There’s been a fault in one of the engines, so we’ll just be a few minutes figuring out what happened.”

10 minutes later

“Hi there, me again. We’ve turned the engines off and on, and everything seems to be fine. We’ll be taking off in about 5 minutes”

You had to be there. It was hilarious. Trust me. Everyone laughed. Also, Thomas Cook Airlines are bush league.

Thursday February 17, 2011

Anyways. Eight hours of not sleeping and watching How I Met Your Mother later, we arrived at the Gatwick airport where I got grilled be customs. I’m pretty certain it was all because I told them I had no job. Then I made a severely unfunny joke about my post secondary education (maybe not the best choice). After that they wanted to know exactly what I was doing and what my degree was in and who I was there with and if I had a flight home. I loved it.

Local time was 6:30 AM. So we took our time getting into central London and went to Buckingham Palace. I made two observations: (a)The changing of the guard is kind of boring; (b) among the Beamers/Aston Martins/Mercedes parked inside the gates, there was a PT Cruiser. Seriously. Who at Buckingham Palace drives a PT freaking Cruiser (no offense if you own one).

We then got a train to Greenwich (where the hostel was), ate some food and took naps. We walked around the town for a while, the entire time Karly exclaiming how cute everything was. We saw the Greenwich Meridian, which is apparently a badass laser they shoot from the top of a hill across London. The night ended with nachos, cheap beer, and jetlag.

Friday February 17, 2011

After getting up and eating free breakfast (toast), we got a train into London and saw St. Paul’s Cathedral (or rather, the outside of St. Paul’s). We decided to try see it for free by going to a service at a later time (which didn’t work).

So we walked. We walked for a good long while. There is a nice river boardwalk on the south of the Thames, and we walked for many hours. But we saw some cool stuff: Shakespeare’s Globe, Tower Bridge, Millennium Bridge, The Tate Modern, Big Ben, some random market, and Westminster Abbey. It was rather fun. There were a few things of note.

I felt like Death Eaters were going to shoot some spells at me when I was walking across the Millennium Bridge (a la opening scene from HP 6).

We got food at this amazing pie place. Erik loves savoury pies. I loved them too. What’s even better is that I swear the girl working there was hitting on me, or as I so delicately put it: “she undressed me with her eyes”. It’s true. Seriously.

There were 100 million ceramic sunflower seeds spread out on the floor at the Tate Modern. I didn’t get it. Modern art is weird.

Westminster Abbey was awesome. The history there is incredible. I’m a little bit of a nerd and made sure I took note of Charles Darwin and Isaac Newton’s graves.

The Parliament Buildings seem unreasonably large, but impressive nonetheless.

Later that night we met up with Laura, my cousin who graciously let us sleep at her flat for the remaining four nights while her and two other roommates (all teachers) went traveling for the week. Ironically we went to the Canadian pub. It was funny. We sang the national anthem with some random dude who was getting married soon and ate poutine. She gave us directions and keys. We left and went back to the hostel. There was live music in the bar underneath us, but thankfully jetlag makes it easy to sleep.

Saturday February 18, 2011

Woke up. Ate toast. Trained to the flat on the other side of London. Dropped off our stuff. Met the last roommate at the flat. Got Indian food. Went back into central London. That took roughly 4 hours. London is big. Who knew?

So we went into the London Tower. It’s a badass castle with lots of tourists, including us. So we walked around for a while and looked at stuff. It was rather fun. We saw the crown jewels as well. And let me tell you. They like their diamonds big, and they like them everywhere.

After that, we went Borough Market right as everything closed. But luckily we got some cider and mulled wine, which is delightful. Also, delicious. After walking around for a while, we found a pub and got fish and chips. They were okay. I’m not a big fish and chips kind of guy. But English beer is fantastic, and a little warm. After this we trained back the flat and got ready for bed.

That is, until Erik and myself decided to join Shawn (the last roommate) and his friend Matt at a local Australian bar. It was midnight at this point. I was tired. But Erik peer pressured me into going. I cave easily to peer pressure, so off we went to meet the other guys there.

We walked down to find them in line, and also the find that this bar was more of a club. If you know me, you know I don’t particularly enjoy clubs. Neither does Erik. So what do we do instead? We get lost. Really, really lost. It took us two hours to get back. But Erik saw his first rat (it was dead). We both saw our first fox. Twice. We asked some people where we were, didn’t understand them, and walked more. Then we jogged and found where we were. So we got pizza to celebrate and went to bed at 2 AM. We both had a great time. It was kind of like a Jeff+Erik date. Which is probably better than a normal date with a girl, unless that particular girl can make light of a potentially bad situation that very well could have ended with us sleeping on the streets and contracting the Black Plague from the rats.

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Run and tell that. Home boy.

I’m back to the blogosphere for one last stand. Part of the debriefing time was about finishing the internship well, which should implicitly include this blog. But I’m shooting for mediocrity instead.

I realized I haven’t written anything since Sunday October 24. I’m going to try and get through the last few days in Cambodia, transit to Calgary, battling jetlag, debriefing, and intern retreat. Hopefully I’ll throw in some deeply profound thoughts and reflections of the last six months, but don’t hold your breath. I might write some heartfelt John Mayer lyrics and no one will know the difference. John Mayer can do the reflecting for me*.

The last weekend in Phnom Penh was quite similar to all the other weekends I spent there. Except this time I decided to be intentional about appreciating the city and the people. To do this, I woke up early and went to the riverside to see the sunrise. And my goodness you should have seen that sunrise with your own eyes. Cambodia is really pretty, and I almost forgot. I took some pictures and enjoyed the pleasant morning heat. I went to a cafe and my favourite used bookshop and did some other random stuff (aka work) before calling it a night.

On Sunday I went to the Russian Market as per usual. Except I walked. No one walks in Phnom Penh. It was weird. I went a few blocks before a nice guy from Thailand asked me where Russian Market was. So we walked together and had a friendly chat about random stuff. Then I shook his sweaty hand before continuing on to buy an assortment of cheap stuff. I spent the rest of that day napping and working in a cafe. I finished the day by watching Transformers 2 and working on a powerpoint presentation for the workshop. That movie sucks.

Monday was my all day workshop with the staff. All I wanted to cover were some new monitoring indicators, Formstack, and iPods. I had some things planned, but I left lots of time for questions. So I get to the conference room to find that the projector I thought was coming never came. So instead of using the presentation, I improvised and asked them to follow along with the iPods.

Whats funny about this is that a someone said “a projector would be useful for this”. I responded with “I know”. Then one of the managers dropped by and also noted “Jeff, I think maybe you should use a projector”. I told him “yes, I know”. Then Viriya comes into the workshop and says “Jeff, you should have asked for a projcetor”. I told him I did ask. Then I felt bad because Sitha (the guy I requested a projector from) is going to get yelled at, and I love Sitha. He’s hilarious. The entire day just devolved into the staff playing with iPods. Which, in all honesty, was probably a good thing to do while I was there to answer questions.

That night we went for dinner to a nice restaurant and ate banana curry, which immediately blew my mind all over the place. Tuesday was spent working at my favourite cafe in the morning, and finishing up at the office. Then the staff threw us (Andrea and myself) a party. It was awesome and catered by a restaurant fifty feet down the street; which was funny because they walked all the food down. There were also very awkward speeches, one was surprisingly given by myself (I know, Jeff Seaman and awkwardness are not normally associated).

The staff even gave Andrea and I a card and a gift. The gift was a scarf with “Pray For Cambodia” embroidery, and a banner with a bible verse. Mine was a verse from the prodigal son story, Andrea’s was this obscure verse about prosperity and womb fruit. The funniest thing were the cards they gave us. I was told that the “words were from their heart”. I opened the card to see that it was addressed to Andrea. I figure that the cards got switched up, so I trade with Andrea and open my card to find that it was also addressed to Andrea. I felt appreciated. As my act of revenge on the staff, I bought them a fruit basket and Andrea framed an awesome picture of us being awesome. This picture is big papa Viriya giving me the gift in a very staged photo.

I went home, packed my bags, unpacked my bags, repacked my bags, watched a terrible movie entitled Letters To Juliet and slept for the last time in Cambodia. The next morning I exacted my revenge by delivering the fruit basket to the office and saying goodbye. I got my stuff, went to Mama and Papa Chee’s, and ate pancakes. We got a ride to the airport and left. Just like that. Here is an assortment of things I will miss (off the top of my head).

Stinky canal road (except not really at all).

The guy that cut my hair. The first time I went in, I pointed at the only picture that wasn’t an asymmetrical Asian pop star haircut. It was also the only picture of a white guy. I’m very stereotypical. The interaction was pretty much like this.

Chinese Noodle, the restaurant I went to at least three times a week.

My moto driver who can’t speak English.

My iced coffee guy, who has the self-proclaimed “best iced coffee in Phnom Penh”. Its true. He is the best.

Cafe Yejj and their devastatingly good breakfast special.

Riding my around my old school roadster bike without being a hipster.

Mike’s Burgers.

White dragon fruit.

Meat on a stick.

The nod of acknowledgment I got from the Mormon’s who also ride bikes, and wear helmets and white collared shirts. The only thing that made me different was having no name tag. That, and not being Mormon.

Catching locals off guard with one of five Khmer sentences I could speak pretty well.

Smiling at people. Because its nice, not creepy.

And the people. I miss them. I’ll probably remember more things later. But lets get back to the shenanigans in Taipei.

Our flight plan was Phnom Penh to Taipei to Vancouver to Calgary. We had a seven hour layover in Taipei that was super boring, except when Andrea realized she left her bag somewhere. Luckily she had her passport, but we spent a good hour or two looking for it. Andrea then made peace with the loss of her iPod, camera, credit card, and cash. After eating overpriced food, we were walking to the departure gate when some dude stopped us and asked if we were missing a bag. Turns out, Andrea left it at security. She was excited, Naomi was excited, I fist pumped, so you know I was excited.

It gets better. The plane wasn’t full. There was an elderly Chinese guy in my row, and we were on the same page. He gave me a nod, and promptly commandeered an empty row shortly after takeoff when no flight attendants were looking, leaving me with a row to myself. It was amazing. I had a decent sleep, and watched Predators. Adrian Brody should not be in action films. He was just terrible.

So we land in Vancouver, and through Facebook chat, I met up with my friends and Vancouver residents Lindsday and Jono. We got coffee, before I realized my flight was boarding and I was not boarding. So I swear loudly in my head, go through security and run to the gate where I find that no one had boarded yet. I love how tardy Air Canada is.

I made my storied return to Calgary late Wednesday night and promptly froze. I slept quite well that night. The days afterward were spent feeling terrible on account of jetlag and the steak I ate on Thursday night. Apparently Alberta beef wages war on my bowels. Who knew.

We began the official debrief on Monday, which was a whirlwind of meetings and presentations and writing reports and what not. Team Cambodia was signed up for three presentations on Tuesday, and another Wednesday morning. I winged at least one of them. We didn’t have a ton of time to prepare, so our presentations were like a freaking clinic in mediocrity. The quality of work that we did all week wasn’t great, it wasn’t bad, it was satisfactory. And I’m okay with that.

Team Cambodia went for a delightful hike in Kananaskis on Saturday, where I got blister and wouldn’t fix it right away because I’m a real man. That, and the med kit my parents gave me was what some would call “Bush league”. But I’m comparing it to the med kit Samaritan’s Purse sent with us to Cambodia, which was full of assorted drugs and enough supplies to perform open heart surgery. It was that good. Birds then proceeded to land on me. Canada rules.

The intern group went on a retreat for a few days at Kingsfold, which was supposed to be a time of reflecting and what not. Here is the thing about Kingsfold, its awesome. Its has facilities geared towards being quite and contemplative. But all of us get along really well, Marley brought Dutch Blitz, Charlie Cook (Ambrose professor/intercultural expert) was dropping bombs of hilarity, and it was Carolina’s (regional project manager) birthday; so we ended up getting a little crazy. Its cool though, we made friends with some other retreaters there, and they didn’t hate us by the end. So you can run and tell that. Home boy.**

Then on Wednesday, I finished my last report signed my life away to Samaritan’s Purse Canada for another five weeks. Which means I’m on contract until mid-December. So that’s pretty neat. The internship is officially over. And it weird. I’ve been telling people it feels like 6 months just didn’t happen. It seems like May was last week. Another intern put it well by saying that other people are more excited than I am to be home.

I’m not entirely sure how the whole experience has impacted me. I’m still not entirely sure what I think about about the developing world, but there isn’t a disconnect between the Western world and the developing countries anymore. Here are a few things that I do know:

People live really happy and fulfilling lives; and have such a greater sense of community and relationship than we do. We (the Western world, as it were) are so disconnected from each other, and it sucks.

Lots of beggars and kids asked me for money. An ethical dilemma was presented. I have the means to meet a need (money), but by doing so I am perpetuating a system where I (as a white foreigner) rob people of their dignity and value. I had a really hard time with this.

I didn’t take as many pictures in villages as I wanted. Most of the time I felt terrible pulling out a camera that costs the same amount as some people make in 5 months. If only they knew I was carrying a laptop and three iPods in addition to the camera.

My attitude towards money and material stuff has changed; but I don’t want to be the guy that plays the “developing world” card all the time and guilts people into not buying things. But thinking about money in terms of how many water filters one could buy happens fairly often.

I use semicolons far too often without really knowing how to properly use them; but I don’t care. It makes me look smarter.

Development is tricky.

I think I’ll be able to make sense out of this experience with more time.

But hey, thanks for reading. This is the last post, and I think it was a textbook anticlimax. I’ll make the entire blog it into a PDF if anyone wants a copy. I’ve been asked about doing a slideshow or something. If people are interested, I would be more than happy to oblige. If you have any questions or comments, please send me an email (jeff.d.seaman@gmail.com). I’ll answer it. Unless the question is “How was your trip?”. I won’t answer that.

I leave you with this epic quote that gives me shivers every time I read it.

“I see in your eyes the same fear that would take the heart of me. A day may come when the courage of men fails, when we forsake our friends and break all bonds of fellowship, but it is not this day. An hour of woes and shattered shields, when the age of men comes crashing down! But it is not this day! This day we fight! By all that you hold dear on this good Earth, I bid you stand, Men of the West!”

Mmmmmm, shivery.

Anyways, if any of the following people read this thing, thank you very much. In no particular order: Steve+Jodi Chee for being the amazing, Nathan Chan for giving me a room and making bagels with me, Pool McKnight for hanging out (I lost your book in Kampong Thom, sorry), Jesus, the people from the house church I attended sporadically. The Clear Cambodia staff (specifically Mr. Viriya, Mr. Savath, and Mr. Heng).

I hope you enjoyed this mediocre final post. Be strong and courageous.

* You probably thought I was kidding about the John Mayer comment. I wasn’t. Lets play a fun game of “find the John Mayer lyrics”. Embedded somewhere in this post is a line from a John Mayer song. The first person to email (only emailed entries will be accepted) the correct line and song will win a prize. I’m serious. It will either be fake sunglasses, a tobacco pipe, or a hammock. You can choose. If you are from outside of Calgary I’ll even send it to you.

** inside joke; google “bed intruder song”

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Another week in the field, and FLIGHTS GOT CHANGED AND I HAVE 16 MILLION THINGS TO DO!!!!!

All caps might have been drastic, but our flights back home got switched up, and I have been wildly busy in the last few weeks trying to finish things, set up Formstack for the staff, and attempt to be reflective of the last 6 months.

It’s cool though. I like to think I work better under pressure.

Anyways, a two weeks ago I went to Pursat for 5 days. Only two of the staff were there (the other three were in Phnom Penh/on vacation), so most of what I did was do some community health outreach, and a bit of field testing for Formstack. Then I came back to the city.

Last week I was in the office doing a million things.

Yesterday I bought a cheap guitar from a nice guy in a Hawaiian shirt . Now I’m in a cafe working very ineffectively.

Tomorrow I am doing a workshop with all the staff. Tuesday I am probably training a few office staff. Wednesday I am going for pancakes and then leaving.

Back in Calgary on Wednesday night at 1 AM.

Hows that for an update? Quick and dirty, with no proofreading. Just the way I like it. The only quote I can think of off the top of my head is:

That’s no moon.
-Obi Wan Kenobi

That had nothing to do with anything….

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